Did you seriously have to make yourself known today of all days? When I have a meeting with the bossman in 44 minutes? And there are no gd shout wipes in any of my usual hiding spots because I've been giving them away to my clumsy friends who aren't responsible enough to carry their own gd shout wipes? Okay. I was just checking. Because YOUR BROWN MUSTARD SEEDS ARE TAKING UP THE ENTIRETY OF MY RIGHT LEG AT THE MOMENT. I just thought you might reconsider is all. Go find some 2nd grade bully who picks on all the kids with glasses. He's much more in need of your services than I am currently.
Your Unappreciative Donor Pant Leg