Quick, be quiet, I don't have much time.
Since returning to work has amounted to me working 168 hours a week and overtime, I have very little time to update you. But I've been dieing to talk to you, so work is on hold and you are my focus for the next 3.75 minutes.
Several orders of business: I got my hair cut again, circa 2 years ago and since every time I get my hair cut anywhere my only request be it Super Cuts or Bumble and Freaking Steal-Your-Money Bumble is to cut it so I don't have to do anything short of apply shampoo and conditioner to get out of the house in the morning, they succeeded in selling me some bullshit product for $25 that is supposed to make it look like I "spent the day at the beach". Revelation: "spending the day at the beach" hair looks like shit. And so I cannot fault Bumble for ripping me off because I'm the asshole who bought the product with full disclosure. Henceforth, I arrive at work every morning to people saying things like, "Wow, it was that kind of night, huh?" Yes ma'am, I spent the whole night flying a kite in a rainstorm trying to recreate the great experiments of one truly amazing Benjamin Franklin. Thank you for noticing.
On another note, did you know that my neighborhood post office, the one that I was truly moving to my neighborhood specifically for because in my last neighborhood it took 2.5 hours, $75, and three desert sheiks to get to totally pissed me off, you know that one? Well, did you know it opens conveniently at 8am? And that subsequently you can go before work to do your posting business, only not exactly so because the tellers don't start working until 9am? Now shouldn't the person who thought up this fantastic idea be promoted? I'd say. Promoted to uprighting tipped over porta-potties. Whew, it's a cleansing morning for me today, and I already feel better.
Last but not least, I am uber excited to be in my BFFFFFF's wedding on Saturday in a beautiful dress that is totally sexy and when I went to get it altered, the 107 year old Russian seamster (?) said, "hubba hubba", it looks that good. On an unrelated note, if you happen to wear a size 9 ladies dress shoe and happen to have a pair of silver heels in that size, would you like to overnight them to me so I can have them for sure by Saturday morning? Thank you. Totally random question, I know. Kidding Sara! Totally kidding...
Happy Tuesday! Alternate side of the street parking is in effect.