Friday, April 4, 2008

Can I Have A Minute?

Okay, Note to the Most Intelligent People of the Universe,

Hi. I'm not part of your club, but I've been having this problem and decided maybe I could ask you for the answer or some expert advice, okay? So here's what's happening. Often, when I arrive at my hospital in the morning for work, there is already someone or someones waiting for the elevator. This shouldn't pose a problem, you say. And that's where you're wrong. As I breach the threshold of the Waiting for the Elevator area, I realize AGAIN that the person waiting anxiously for the transportation mechanism has pushed the DOWN arrow.

Now, before I lose my temper and my blood pressure goes to where only the birds fly, let me please tell you what happens to the poor souls once the elevator arrives. EVERY TIME. There will now be a group of people standing and waiting for the elevator but when the door opens, we "Other People" do not get on, we anticipate that the elevator is going down one floor to the basement to pick someone else up and will be coming back our way shortly. This, we know, will happen because we have pushed the UP arrow.

Only the "Intellectually Challenged" person who pushed the stupid down button gets right on the elevator and continues to try to push their desired floor, 6, 8, or perhaps 10. Then, once again, their enormous brains are boggled when the light doesn't light up for their desired floor and instead the doors close to take them downstairs to the basement, where no one awaits them at all, because they were the Pea-sized Brainiacs that pushed the down button on themselves.

Then! The elevator returns to the 1st floor and the doors miraculously open to allow the rest of us on to push our desired floors and stare menacingly at the Freakshow who made this entire mess of our normally calm morning elevator routine.


This has happened several times.

I'm at a loss. Elevators. Elevate. Up arrow. 7 higher than 1. Rise. Gain height.


Intelligent People of the Universe, I implore you. Help me. Please.

The Walnut Sized Braniac

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