Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Heath Ledger

On a more serious note, I was very touched to see that Heath Ledger won post-humously Best Supporting Actor for playing the Joker last year. I don't know if it's because we were former neighbors in Brooklyn, or because he's a young dad of a young child himself, but I've been very moved by his untimely death and the fate of his daughter and her mother.

Few things stun and sicken me more than the early death of someone our own age. I think it reminds me of how mortal we are and how final death is. I've never been a dare devil type of person or in denial about my mortality. In fact, I've seen death often in the work I do as a NICU nurse. But even those instances were usually following a very serious illness or diagnosis not compatible with life. Heath's death is different.

Whether or not he intentionally took his life or if it was an accident, I would never judge him either way. If, though, in fact he did commit suicide, millions of questions arise in my mind. Why did he think it was so bad he couldn't handle the situation he was in? Why did he feel like he couldn't talk to his former girlfriend? Parents? Friends? Psychiatrist? Anyone? Did he think of the future his daughter will face with him gone? Was he trying to save her from something he thought he was doing wrong? So many unanswered questions.

I guess my point is, I'm sad for Heath, and his family. Though we didn't know each other, I feel like it could have been prevented. And if there's anyone out there ever contemplating doing something similar, stop, call me, I'm here for you and I care.

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