Full Disclosure

Good lord almighty in a handbasket, it's been a long time, Internet. So many things, so little time. Let me make some excuses real quick so for to make up for my literary absence in the past few weeks:

1. I cannot hold two thoughts in my head at any one time for longer than 20 seconds these days, thereby inhibiting my writing prowess as I usually plan out my posts for several hours before I write them for you.

2. Once I do begin the drafting process all hell breaks loose around here and I have to keep stopping to put out fires and return to the computer only to lose my jive.

3. My brain is overloaded with my attempt at returning to the workplace next Monday (!) - I know, holy shitcans in molasses Batman. So I've been neglecting my therapeutic writing as of late.

But alas, no more! There are posts that need writing like whores itching for a lay and I will refuse them no longer! Upcoming posts: "Who Are You and What Did You Do With My Vagina?", "I the Hall-oweenie", and "Me, the Lesbian, and Oprah".

Be afraid.