Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Oogles and Oogles of Googles

Alright, hand to the Bible, I admit it. I google myself.

Not like a hundred times a week or anything. No, more like once or twice a month, tops. I'd also like to state for the record, that I do not believe there is anything wrong with this hobby of mine. I'm simply tracking my exposure to the masses. That is, if there was exposure. Because so far? Non-exposed = me. Not only am I not exposed to the masses, neither is my maiden named self, my nicknamed self, nor my initialed self. I guess I'm cooler than I thought, because I'm underground. Get it? Only the coolest bars and restaurants are super secret and underground. So, now I'm really excited to be amongst such great company as La Esquina and the Private Dinner Club of Brooklyn. I'm hot, ya'll.

I would also like someone to invent a google-yourself-counter that will then be published by name and everyone can see how desparate people are to be famous by how many times you google yourself in any given day. This would be hilarious. Then they should also publish the person's email so we can all email them and try to help them figure out what is missing in their lives, ie social interaction. So Internet, get on my idea. Thank you very much. And I'll take royalties for it too. Because I'm UNDERGROUND and underground people take royalties on all kind of shit. It's a fact.

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