Pick up something I dropped.
Sit in a chair, any chair, for more than 5 minutes.
Cross my ankle over my knee.
Find clothes that fit my waistline.
Tolerate bad breath.
Make meals that I'm not sick of eating.
Avoid tooting in public (I do this at least 3 times a day).
Paint my toenails.
Perform certain toilet tasks with ease (ie sitting down and standing up, let alone the other stuff).
Avoid touching my belly when he's caterwauling in there.
Wear a bra and/or pants.
Walk up 3 flights of stairs without resembling a rhinoceros during an asthma attack.
Deny the peanut butter and nutella urges.
Give a shit about weight gained as direct result of said urges.
Think about exercising.