Sunday, July 8, 2007

Vying for a Raise

What to do? Do you know what it's like to be invited to a party at someone's home, let's say this person is your boss, for the first time and you have no idea if you are supposed to bring a gift/offering? Let's play out a couple of scenarios, shall we?

1. Guest A brings a bottle of $12 wine.
a. Problems with option #1: What if the host is not a wine drinker? This renders your gift completely inappropriate, you might as well have given them a garden hose reel. Also, Guest B would probably bring a $60 bottle of wine and make your offering look like a piece of sh*t. Way to go, Cheapskate, you're fired.

2. Guest A brings flowers.
a. Problemo for 2: There are oh, let's say about 40 other people attending said party and if we all bring the standard flower arrangement the host will end up paying a dump truck to come at the end of the day to dispose of all the dead flowers. Pavlov says boss will now associate your presence at their house with death and unnecessary expense.

3. Guest A listens to her husband and does not bring a gift at all, quote, "We are the guests. We don't have to bring anything. Ugh, stupid wife!"
a. Problems with your husband-er option #3: You will look like an ass. (Nuf said.) And don't ask your husband for decorum advice anymore, he is the same man who sends out an Amazon gift list to his friends and family for his birthday.

Internet, I'm open to suggestions. Suggest away. Oh, by the way, the party is tonight.

1 comment:

gbowman said...

You are full of it. I never said "stupid wife", I suggested the wine (and I might add that is what we took, and she loved it), and the reason I sent out the list of gifts was to avoid getting another beanie baby shaped race car(wtf?) from YOUR mother. Stupid wife...