Listen, we have a lot to cover in a very short time, so zip it and listen.
Item 1: I have not had much time to post lately because Griffin has morphed into some kind of rollerskating chimpanzee on steroids and caffeine. (Watch for his piece on Ripley's Believe It or Not).
Item 2: We just returned from 2 weeks in Ohio visiting family/ hosting a baby shower/ attending baptisms/ I can't even remember what happened so I'm a little on the fritz.
Item 3: Hunter the Magnificent is currently at summer camp at Grandma and Grandpa's horse farm which surprisingly is making me appreciate the little bastard a lot more. (Holy backfire, Batman).
Item 4: I think I've entered the hysterical phase of parenthood, brought on possibly by the fact that my 9 month old refuses to sleep more than 2.5 hours consecutively, and when I found a completely foreign pair of brand new, never before worn pair of dyeable bridesmaid shoes* in my closet, size 6.5 (because you know I haven't fit into a shoe that small since Janet Jackson had a hit album) I started hysterically laughing until I almost peed myself.
Item 5: I return to work in exactly 9 days [Insert gasp and music crescendo here].
Item 6: I have more items on my to do list than OJ has felony charges.
Item 7: The contents of my frig include a spoiled gallon of milk, frozen broccoli, and 42 Yuengling. (Who says making your own baby food is hard? Who?!)
If I think of any other notable items, I'll call you. Better yet, I'll show up on your doorstep asking you for money and I accept personal checks.
*If these perchance are yours, I'll sell them back to you for $49.99 or a month of babysitting. You're welcome, that's what friends are for.