Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Swine and I

Have you heard the one about the crazy lady who spent all day on Craigslist trying to find affordable (ha! What's affordable to a family with no income?!) toys to stimulate her son's brain so as to teach him to save the world in his adult life? And then after unsuccessfully securing any toys or strollers she finally finds fresh meat in her own neighborhood and spends the entire evening tracking down the woman who posted several toys were available because said woman had to move back to Israel? But then while in the process of cleaning said Woman from Israel out of house and home and simultaneously breaking the heart of Israel Woman's little girl for "stealing" all her toys, Crazy Lady finds it odd that Israel Woman is hacking up a lung, eyes and nose running like 2 leaky faucets, but shrugs it off for sheer joy of securing cheap toys?

Then cut to several moments later when it dawns on Crazy Lady that Lady from Israel must have the Swine Flu? Therefore, said Swine Flu must have been passed through Crazy Lady to her son, who had a runny nose so she convinced herself and anyone in earshot that he had swine flu and was on his death bed? Mind you the boy is a playing machine who hasn't stopped sprinting the length of her apartment for 2 seconds in the past 3 days. But it's swine flu. Of course he has swine flu. He must have it. And the entire world's population will die in exactly 2.5 hours. Then the lady passed out cold because her brain decided there was faulty wiring somewhere or perhaps it absorbed too much bleach from the cleaning fluid she soaked all the toys in for 17 hours so as to kill any remaining Swine Flu Virus.

Ha ha. That was a good one.

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