Pretty Sure Hef Co-Wrote These Lyrics

I didn't realize until Grif was born that I do not know many nursery rhymes or at least, the correct words to many nursery rhymes.

Witness:
Hush little baby, don't say a word. Momma's gonna buy you a Mocking Bird (Okay, you're with me there right? Well, read on...)
And if that Mocking Bird won't sing, Momma's gonna buy you a Diamond Ring (Still okay...)
And if that Diamond Ring won't shine, Momma's gonna buy you a New Cheese Rind? (Wheels falling off...)
And if that Cheese Rind starts to smell, Momma's gonna buy you a Bucket and a Well? (Anxiety starting about rhyming off the cuff...)
And if that Bucket and Well runs dry, Momma's gonna buy you an Apple Pie?

Let's just say from there the list of things Momma got him included a Dog named Rover, a Four Leaf Clover, a Washing Machine, a Playboy Magazine, a Date with a Model, and also some imaginary things that I can't remember anymore.

Yikes Griffin, yikes.