Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Cannot Locate Camera Computer Interface Wire

Since I cannot seem to locate a clean pair of underpants, let alone the camera, or wire with which I must connect my computer to to add pictures to the interworld, I decided to dredge up a few pics from the past and photoarchive the day we found out we were pregnant, rather I'm pregnant and G is forced to obey my every command... Witness!

The first pregnancy test I took was what I thought was two or three days after my period was supposed to start. This is a mystical assessment however, because my cycles are to regular what Obama is to old people. Was that an okay analogy? I didn't really try that hard there. Anyway - the initial prego test was negativo so we discarded it and proceeded to drink a few bottles of wine for close calls sakes. Two or three more days went by and still no visit from the hematopoesis gods, so I returned to CVS to purchase another, more expensive test, in the event that the negative sign is indirectly correlated to the dollar amount you spend on the plastic pee test stick. With G at the ready with the stopwatch, I peed away again. One line appeared right away, three minutes passed and there was a hairline perpendicular line that G considered not serious enough to warrant bringing a new life into the world. Two more minutes and there she was! Plus sign = Kniggity Knocked Up. FYI: the instructions say disregard results after 5 minutes or something ridiculous like that, but the giant roller derby bouncing ball in my abdomen begs to differ with said instructiones (Spanish for instructions).
We only had a few hours to kill (I wonder how often I'll type a sentence like that after this baby pops into the world) before our friends were coming over to party down so we took the opportunity to put our feelings over the new discovery into photograph form. Here I am saying, "Heeeey, I'm Fertile. What's your name?"
After explaining the sticky situation to Hunter, his thoughts were somewhat bleak on the matter: as in "Oh you have got to be f#$%ing kidding me". And then, "This better not disturb my sleep, my treat consumption, or my ability to make you two idiots do whatever I want you to".
And here we have the new parents-to-be saying, "We have no idea what we're getting ourselves into but we think a call to my dad and $100 in bail isn't going to get us far this time."
Preempted with the photographers direction to "pretend the baby was just born":


I know what you're thinking, and you're right. Us = Huge Dorks. But now we have a little baby dork on the way and then we'll outnumber you and your Cool Friend, so there.

2 comments:

Jess said...

my god you are freaking hilarious! it brings such joy to my day to find entertaining posts from you!! how i miss our lunch time discussions and all night laughter. =)

Stacey Marie Hall :) said...

"because my cycles are to regular what Obama is to old people" ... you make me CRY laughing :) i love you!