Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Doing My Part

Things are happening. At an alarmingly fast pace. No time to sit, think, pee, blog. The baby - he is insatiable these days. Apparently, I no longer think in complete sentences. Just realized this. Crap.

But seriously, it's important that we, you and I, don't lose our "alone time" just because I had a baby. I mean, we need to spend time on this relationship to make it work. So, I've put the baby down, he's amusing himself at the moment (which - sidebar - now includes him playing with himself "down there" - which is scary to me because I thought maybe we had a year or 11 to wait before that happened, apparently not. Something else that would have been useful to read in "What to expect..." - thanks for that), and I can devote my full attention to you and your needs.

Enough about you, let's talk about me.

What is it about this economy crisis that just gets me spend-happy? Take for instance last Friday. My friend Meghan and I decided to jump in the car and head to the Woodbury Commons outlets up here in no man's land, aka the Bronx, (and why do people say "the" Bronx instead of "Bronx"? I mean, you don't say, "I live in The Manhattan or The Brooklyn" do you? Case in point, number 435 reason why I "dislike" THE Bronx). I then proceed to flip the f--- out and buy over $200 worth of baby clothes for the Incredible Growing Baby, because have you seen the pictures? He's already 4 feet tall. Apparently someone's been slipping Miracle Grow into his food. (Just kidding you sicko - that would be extremely harmful albeit it makes a good joke).

So here I am without a job, married to a husband without a job, living with a baby without a job, taking care of a dog without a job - who I might add is dangerously close to being without a home if he keeps taking up residence between my feet as I walk around the house, in an economy that is in the shitter. Please, Mr. and Mrs. Joe Q. Public, take a lesson from me, everything's absolutely fine! Go out and spend money you don't have! It's great fun.

[Death gasp.]

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